tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9007262862160462114.post1469418618515111377..comments2023-06-14T09:47:19.626-05:00Comments on The Relentless Builder: The Gentleman Series | 3: He Must Not Be Physically AbusiveAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02741175042414216760noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9007262862160462114.post-47313739910115677052013-07-03T12:20:26.353-05:002013-07-03T12:20:26.353-05:00Nollywood Reinvented: Thank you for sharing that s...Nollywood Reinvented: Thank you for sharing that story here. I actually read it when it was still fresh and was just infuriated. There are times for words, and there are times for action. When a woman reports that she is being abused in her home, words alone are not enough. That is the time for action, and the Pastor did not do it. And then, she died at her husband's hands. Ridiculous!<br /><br /><br />I feel like the Church has a role to play in this because Pastors and spiritual leaders are usually the ones (apart from friends and relatives) that battered men or women run to during these episodes. I'm glad Stella is helping to create awareness.The Relentless Builderhttp://therelentlessbuilder.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9007262862160462114.post-15665202336485911682013-05-03T09:12:02.670-05:002013-05-03T09:12:02.670-05:00Just because the Nigerian Police and those in posi...Just because the Nigerian Police and those in positions of power have blinded themselves to existence, doesn't make it acceptable *at least I'd hope so*. This is one of the reasons I love Stella Damasus' new direction, she is set to release a movie based on a true life story of a woman who was battered to death, even after she had gone to the police who told her *madam, this na private affair* and she had gone to her pastor *who told her to take heed, the Lord will see you through*Nollywood REinventedhttp://twitter.com/NollywdREinvntdnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9007262862160462114.post-13939870141985262212013-04-22T02:31:03.298-05:002013-04-22T02:31:03.298-05:00Victor: Well said! Physical abuse should not be to...Victor: Well said! Physical abuse should not be tolerated. But it is. I love the scripture you used. I didn't quite see it this way. "As long as it depends on you ..." Food for thought.<br /><br /><br />Thanks for the household chores suggestion. I'll definitely consider it, but I think you already know what I'm going to say. 50-50!The Relentless Builderhttp://therelentlessbuilder.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9007262862160462114.post-91447513885037428162013-04-22T02:29:03.338-05:002013-04-22T02:29:03.338-05:00Free Truths: Thanks for the points you raised, es...Free Truths: Thanks for the points you raised, especially the one about women being raised to manage their marriages. That's true. In the first place, they're taught to value men over and above themselves, and in marriage, it becomes even more obvious. What's that saying again? It's a man's world ...<br /><br /><br />I think here in the US, there are ways to help battered women, but in Nigeria, where does such a woman go to for help? Her parents will likely say they have no place for her. Are there even shelters for them? And then, there's the big issue of economic dependence, like you noted. If she is dependent on her husband for money, then how can she leave? I think the Church needs to step in and stop turning a blind eye or telling these women to go back home as if nothing happened.The Relentless Builderhttp://therelentlessbuilder.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9007262862160462114.post-25432064486576527532013-04-22T02:24:28.266-05:002013-04-22T02:24:28.266-05:00Toin: Yup! That's a strong statement. Point t...Toin: Yup! That's a strong statement. Point taken!The Relentless Builderhttp://therelentlessbuilder.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9007262862160462114.post-72515258172189287782013-04-22T02:23:59.842-05:002013-04-22T02:23:59.842-05:00Jemima: You're right, especially on the emotio...Jemima: You're right, especially on the emotional abuse. That one is more common, but doesn't get as much publicity because it goes undetected. I mean, how do you tell if a person is being emotionally abused?The Relentless Builderhttp://therelentlessbuilder.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9007262862160462114.post-89637585214971078272013-04-17T12:32:25.908-05:002013-04-17T12:32:25.908-05:00abuse of any kind is not acceptable, i find that t...abuse of any kind is not acceptable, i find that the other forms of abuse i.e. emotional and verbal actually are too commonJemimanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9007262862160462114.post-50232934781705178822013-04-17T04:17:42.534-05:002013-04-17T04:17:42.534-05:00Abuse of any kind; physical, verbal, emotional is ...Abuse of any kind; physical, verbal, emotional is not acceptable. The end.Toinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9007262862160462114.post-35140637736569109552013-04-16T12:54:28.481-05:002013-04-16T12:54:28.481-05:00I think physical abuse is accepted in not just the...I think physical abuse is accepted in not just the Nigerian culture but in Africa as a whole and in many other cultures too. In the African culture, I think this is partly because women are taught to endure and 'manage' their marriages. Divorce is rarely, if ever, an option. I think it also happens a lot more than we realise because not many people would admit that they are being abused, and most women tend to cover for their husbands. I agree with all the points you made, but I think the issue of physical violence in relationships is a lot more complex than may seem at first glance. For example, it's easy to say to a woman that is being abused to pack her bags and get out, but this might not be very easy for the woman to do, for example, if she has kids, or is fully dependent on her husband for her upkeep (unfortunately, we don't have many 'safe houses' that women can go to in such situations). There is also the emotional attachment to the relationship that is not easy to let go of. I could go on and on, but it's also worth mentioning that there is emotional abuse, which sometimes accompanies physical abuse, and also important is the fact that men do get abused too!Free truthsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9007262862160462114.post-54084934062294965172013-04-16T04:24:21.528-05:002013-04-16T04:24:21.528-05:00Physical abuse is in no way an acceptable trait in...Physical abuse is in no way an acceptable trait in a man or more specifically a gentleman... i like your point where you compared the boss-employee situation to the husband-wife scenario... The bible says "As long as it depends on you, live at peace with all men" it doesn't even matter if or if not your wife or whatever is abusive or rude.. as long as it depends on you act mature... I would love you to do a write up on House Chores is it for the man or woman.... Nice series by the wayVictor Iweanyanoreply@blogger.com