She married herself | Featured Artiste: Josh

What happens when a woman pays her own bride price? Okay, let me clarify the context.  I am referring to cultures in Nigeria where the man pays the bride price to the bride's family as part of the traditional wedding rites.  But what if the man cannot afford the bride price and the woman actually provides the money for the bride price? The man's "paying" is therefore a mere formality and all goes as planned, I am guessing.  But, here's my concern:  if a man cannot pay the bride price, is he ready to marry? Plus, since the money technically came from her own pocket (and is going to her family for the purpose of marrying her), can we say that she has married herself?

The "O le ku" Pattern | Featured Artiste: Mista Seth

No, not the 'Oleku' song.  I am referring to the classic Yoruba movie starring Yemi Sodimu.  If you haven't watched it, you really need to ASAP (both parts).  I watched it for the very first time during acculturation in Ipetumodu (and by saying this I have hopelessly revealed my secondary school *sigh*), Osun State with other class girls from secondary school.  I remember all of us complaining bitterly because of the way the movie ended.  *Enter a movie spoiler*  Sorry guys, but to get the point across, I need to expose the end *dodges tomatoes and agbo jedi-jedi ingredients thrown at her* All in good fun, ba?

[O le ku movie poster]
Anyway, here is the outcome: the main character did not pick any of the ladies vying for his affections.  He picked and married some other lady we were not expecting him to hook up with.  In other words, he did not marry any of the two ladies we were expecting him to choose from.  Rather, he married the 3rd lady, a totally different person.

This same thing happens in real life too.  I have seen this pattern repeated over and over again:

Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl likes boy back, boy and girl fall in  lust love, boy proposes to girl, girl's status on Facebook changes from "in a relationship" to "engaged." Innocent Relentless, in keeping with her New Year's resolution, is minding her own business jejely and not planning to do any "gbeborun" or "aproko."  But Facebook has better plans for her.  Relentless logs into Facebook and sees that fictitious girl, Joy is now "engaged" to Richard.  Relentless then jumps on the "her own don beta" bandwagon and goes on to congratulate Joy, who is now a fiancee, with the obligatory Facebook wall message that reads something like this: "Congratulations on your engagement, Joy!" (What? Were you expecting something else? I don't know what you were expecting o ... this was what I had in mind *displays a set of "not-so-pearly" white teeth*)

Who paid for THAT wedding | Featured Artiste: Miss Bee

If you're like me, you must have noticed the proliferation of websites that showcase Nigerian weddings including the couple's wedding websites, vendors websites (such as photographers, bakers, event planners, etc) and online magazines.  Thanks to the internet, we are no longer limited to viewing Nigerian society weddings in magazines like Ovation, but you can view the much-coveted and highly anticipated wedding pictures online via Bella Naija, Sugar Weddings, Na My Wedding, etc.

[Traditional Wedding Cake]
The pictures tend to have the same distinct pattern: