Who paid for THAT wedding | Featured Artiste: Miss Bee

If you're like me, you must have noticed the proliferation of websites that showcase Nigerian weddings including the couple's wedding websites, vendors websites (such as photographers, bakers, event planners, etc) and online magazines.  Thanks to the internet, we are no longer limited to viewing Nigerian society weddings in magazines like Ovation, but you can view the much-coveted and highly anticipated wedding pictures online via Bella Naija, Sugar Weddings, Na My Wedding, etc.

[Traditional Wedding Cake]
The pictures tend to have the same distinct pattern:

  • Pictures of the bride and groom preparing for the ceremony
  • The bridesmaids looking longingly at the bride (Any thoughts on their thoughts? Here's one: "When will my own come?")
  • The traditional wedding cake, which has evolved so much over the years, but typically features a calabash (with or without kola nut) spewing some white frothy substance that we're supposed to believe is palm wine, but looks suspiciously like Fura de Nunu
  • The bridal train caught doing the mandatory "jump-in-the-air" pose
Alright ... you get the picture ... Back to what I was saying.

After viewing the pictures of these lavish weddings by socialites and non-socialites alike, do you ever wonder where the money to finance these weddings comes from? You can't convince me that every one of these people are "loaded."  Some of them have names, but no longer have the money to back up those names.  So who finances the wedding? (Or should I say "weddings" since many couples typically do BOTH traditional and white wedding ceremonies)

I've heard all sorts of stories about financing weddings ranging from the bizarre to the downright ridiculous.  Here's one:

Two Nigerian parents took out a 2nd mortgage on their house to finance their son's wedding

Mortgage?! Mortgage?! E gba mi! Nitori Olorun ... Because of a wedding?!!!

Another scenario I have heard of is parents who work themselves almost to death to finance their children's weddings.  No offense o, but typically, these folks tend to be nurses, who work "double" shifts to meet up with these financial demands.  So after the wedding, who pays back these loans, etc? *smh*

Featured Artiste: Miss Bee

Today's featured artiste (pictured below) is Miss Bee (Boma Tolofari). Her song, "Obim O" is featured today.

[Miss Bee / ReverbNation]
This is probably the 4th song with the same title that I have heard over the past few years.  Please listen to Boma's "Obim O" below:



Honestly, the intro reminded me of a hymn.  There's nothing wrong with hymns, but they have their place, and I wasn't looking to listen to a hymn, but a contemporary song.  Furthermore, the male voice speaking at the intro was barely audible and I could not make out a single word he said.  It was quite muffled.  Deliberate or accidental? I don't know.  Anyway, the intro would have discouraged me, but thank God I pressed on and guess what?! It paid off! Boma's voice (I don't know why I don't want to call her by her stage name;  Boma (her real name) suits her better) MORE than compensated for the "not-so-exciting" intro.  She has a lovely, sonorous voice and this song shows off a few dimensions to her voice.

The way she sings the verses, especially paired with the piano accompaniment builds up to the chorus.  Sadly though, the chorus (for me, at least) did not live up to my expectations, especially in light of the way the verses build up and the anticipation Boma builds in the way she sings those verses.  The background vocals were subtle and mellow, allowing Boma's voice to really shine and did not compete with her voice.  The songwriting was simple and just okay.  The outro was predictable.  I had high expectations for this song, but it didn't quite "hit it" for me.  On another note, with Boma's vocal quality, I would LOVE to hear more songs from her, possibly an album.

Finally, here is some more information on Miss Bee:

Artiste's Stage Name: Miss Bee

Artiste's Real Name: Boma Tolofari

Connect with Boma on: MySpace

Have a wonderful week y'all!

I share some of your thoughts about weddings and planning for it, however I have learned to have grace...something I am learning a lot about in the past years. It does not mean somethings are not outlandish. I cringe at how people get when it comes to wedding.

Anyways, the intro sounded like a Boyz2Men intro. Was he talking to a woman in a bedroom? I almost forgot it was supposed to be a christian song. Did not get the hymn vibe you alluded to, but like i said my mind was in the bedroom. LOL

Hmm, the wedding thing!!!! It is something we will have to live with in Nigeria. People taking loans for wedding and drinking gari after. And if you tell them, they will say they can only have the special day once

"Two Nigerian parents took out a 2nd mortgage on their house to finance their son's wedding"

The above quote says it all really. A clear case of people living beyond their means. When I got married, it was a small quiet ceremony and we also did a small quiet ceremony in the UK. The simple reason was because we couldn't afford a lavish ceremony and the last thing on our mind was to take out a loan to to organise a 'big' wedding to please other people. I call that living a false life and I thank God we have families that didn't put undue pressure on us either.

If people can afford doing a big wedding ceremony great but if you can't do the sensible thing. There's more to being married than a ceremony. Sadly, our ever expanding materialistic society doesn't help either.

Bless you!!! OOOOOO Bless you Bless you. I often wonder how these people fund the massive weddings. ps: you just inspired a post for my website.

i always wonder why people can not just fix an elegant wedding that is in their price range. So you have a marvelous wedding for one night..and them what? you are stuck with the burden of paying off loans as a newly wed. It is not the best way to start financials with your husband.


I tell you... No be Naijerians?! lol

My own wedding is coming up o but na my papa in heaven dey finance am! lol


And less I forget, I loved the song "Obim O" Very nice instrumentation to the song sha... Sweet voice too.


Rel i lost myself in this song i had to look back to what this post was about in the first place...love the song...but yeah the weeding is over rated...apparently everyone fights for their weddings to be the talk of the year which never happens cause another one will surpass it and the couple or couple families are left to pay off the debt....

Boyz to what?! Lol! I SO did not see that one coming. Ah, AdeOla, bedroom ke?! Lol! That part of your comment cracked me up well well ... But I get your point.  The mumbling. The lowered tones with the baritone voice. The dimmed lights ... the ... the .... Emmm ... Scratch that last part out. I was getting carried away *grinning*

I feel you on grace o. Hmmm.  Very mandatory.  Unfortunately, the folks I was referring to in this post will need a good dose of it to pay off those loans *smh*

Quite true, Atilola.  You expect some things to change, but this is one of the things that hasn't changed.  That excuse you mentioned is the main one they raise if they are challenged.  The problem is that financial problems tend to contribute to divorces, and starting out a marriage with a truck load of debt is un-wise, period.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience here so that it isn't just "dem say, dem say."  That was a wise move on your part and you're lucky the family pressure wasn't there because many good intentions don't see the light of day for the sake of "family pressure."

I think you hit the nail on the head though, by labeling materialism as the culprit here.  There certainly is more to being married than just the ceremony, and the marriage is definitely more important than the wedding ceremony.  But with all the work, time, effort and finances that is pumped into the ceremony, you would think the reverse was the case.  

9jaFoodie, thank God o! I am glad you found some inspiration for your own post too *blushing*

Yes, I too wondered about it and apparently the answer is not far-fetched either.

NollywoodRave, me sef I wonder o! The concept of cutting your cloth according to your size seems to have been abandoned in the stone ages (But thankfully, not for everyone sha).  And you're right.  Paying off heavy loans is not the best way to commence a marriage.  If you tell that to the folks doing this now, they will label one as an "enemy of progress."  Does it make sense to borrow to put up a charade on the wedding day and then be jumping bus the next week?

Ah, LDP! Na "Naijerians" o! Who else? (Actually no be only Naija people dey do dis kain tin)

LOL @ your own financing for your wedding.  Abeg take am jeje o!

Yes, Miss Bee's voice is sweet o! I am glad you liked the song.  It was actually the instrumentation (especially at the intro) that I wasn't feeling, funny enough.  

YSU, your reaction made me laff well well.  The song affected you that much? Well, I am glad to hear it (and I think Miss Bee would be too).  Ah, you raised another point here o, as per competition.  I guess this is one form of keeping up with the Joneses.  But if those trying to "keep up" don't have to money to pull off a mega-wedding, guess who is jonzing? A wedding, to me, is not something worth getting into debt for, especially if that debt aspect can be avoided.


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