Dear Nigerians, Stop Yelling on the Phone!



One lesson I have learnt over the years is this: Nigerians are loud people.  That can be both a good and a bad thing.  It is a good thing at a soccer match for example, where they can shout down the fans of the competitor's country.  But, a conference room or a seminar for example, is not a soccer match, and so does not need the same level of noise.

Perhaps, the most common example of Nigerians being Nigerians, is on the phone.  It does not matter if the person on the other end of the line is within the same zipcode, same city, same county or out of the country, the reaction is the same: they yell.  I don't mean just yelling the first "Hello!" Oh no.

If that was the case, I would not need an entire blog post to rant.  No, the yelling continues at the same frequency, pitch or whatever you want to call it from beginning to the end.  You don’t need loudspeakers to follow the conversation.  You can hear everything that is being said from miles away, even if you don’t want to.

Now, I have tried to explain why this continues to occur, despite the "eye lazer" I have given repeat offenders, and these are my suggestions.  Nigerians yell on the phone because:

Nigerian Student Wahala No. 5: Avoiding Sex Predators Doubling as Lecturers and Professors


I have to admit that I don't know which is worse: a cultist pressuring a girl to be his girlfriend and/or for sex, OR a lecturer pressuring a girl (his student) for sex. But for today, we'll focus on the latter.  It should also be noted that lazy students also use this knowledge in their favor, i.e. they approach lecturers and offer to sleep with them in exchange for good grades, when these students have not done the assigned work.

If you know anything at all about the inner workings of education in Nigeria's higher institutions, then you'll know that this has been a problem for more than a decade.  It was a problem when I was in school, and it still is a problem now.

The Undeniable Signs of the Janded Student



Before we get started, let's agree on some slangs, shall we?

'Jand' is slang for the United Kingdom, and traveling abroad generally.

'Yankee' is slang for the United States.

So, if I say I janded and I don't specify, it just means I travelled abroad.  That includes Ghana and Togo … Okay seriously, no one says 'janded' unless they're referring to the Western world.

Now, I took a risk by using the term 'janded' because it might be outdated, old-fashioned, or worse still might reveal just how old I am.  But assuming we are all on the same page, I will use that term till Kingdom come till the rest of this post.

Anyway, in my time, there were two main things that signaled that you had janded: pencil cases and posters.

5 Ridiculous Things Nobody Expects But Actually Happen at a Church Night Vigil



How was your weekend?  Mine was quite uneventful.  Hopefully you had more fun than I did.  Just don’t rub it in, okay? *grumbling*

For the purposes of this blog post, I will be referring to Nigerian churches.  But, if your church has night vigils, even if it is not a Nigerian church, let me know if any of these things happen at your church too.  Oh wait, I am assuming you know what a night vigil is.  My bad! Here's a quick definition:

Weekly Eye-Catching Designs No. 5: Cover Art for Songs, Albums, EPs

Every week,  various eye-catching designs for songs, albums and EPs by Nigerian gospel artistes will be showcased on this blog.  The idea is to highlight and appreciate the hard work and creativity of graphic artistes and designers who work behind the scenes towards the success of each project.  

Here is the 5th Edition.  Let me know which one(s) you love the most.  Enjoy!

1. C-Stas - Moni O (I Have You)



Nigerian Student Wahala No. 4: Finding Accommodation On or Off Campus


After you have gained admission to a university, one of many other problems a student is likely to face is lack of Accommodation.  I have to admit that studying in America really makes you spoilt for choice.  You actually get to pick your room-mates in advance and depending on whether you're a freshman, sophomore, junior or senior, you can also pick the exact room you want.  Imagine the luxury of these choices after coming from UNILAG.  I was amazed.

This Friday's Free Downloads | Featuring: O'Joe (Bulie Ya), C-Stas (Moni O) and Okey Sokay (Without You)

I have missed this series and I'm glad to be continuing with it today. How was your week?  I hope the 2nd week of August was awesome!

Today, I will be serving you a sandwich.  Yes, that's right, a sandwich.  Okay let me explain.

The first artiste is a guy: O'Joe.  Next, we have a group of ladies singing techno.  Finally, we have another male artiste / producer, Okey Sokay.  Male-Females-Male.  That's a sandwich.  What were you thinking? Haha!

O'Joe - Bulie Ya

O'Joe | ReverbNation


Weekly Eye-Catching Designs No. 4: Cover Art for Songs, Albums, EPs

Every week,  various eye-catching designs for songs, albums and EPs by Nigerian gospel artistes will be showcased on this blog.  The idea is to highlight and appreciate the hard work and creativity of graphic artistes and designers who work behind the scenes towards the success of each project.  

Here is the 4th Edition.  Let me know which one(s) you love the most.  Enjoy!

Provabs - Imela Featuring Okey Sokay




Nigerian Student Wahala No. 3: Gaining Admission into School

At every level of Nigeria's educational system, there are certain "hiccups" that prevent students from gaining admission to school.  I wanted to discuss them briefly in Part 3 of our ongoing series, Wahala of the Nigerian Student.



The Old Man who Preys on JAMB Students: True Story

This is a true story.  It is my story.

"There is an old man who takes JAMB every year.  He has taken the exam countless times and he still hasn't passed it.  If he sits near you, and you don't let him copy your answers, he will snatch your exam paper, tear it up and say 'See you next year.' "





Those words (or a similar version of that silly assortment of words) were uttered by a wicked friend months before I sat for the Joint Admissions and Matriculation Board exam, otherwise known as JAMB, many years ago.  I'm talking more than 10 years ago.

See you next year.