Labels: Children, Education, English Nursery Rhymes, Everything in Between, Nigeria, Nursery Rhymes, Primary School
Do you remember that nursery rhyme about the old woman who lived in a shoe?
*shaking head in slow motion*
That is totally unacceptable! And yes, I am judging you. We have to rectify (chei, see grammar!) this before Christmas.
Before the month of November ends, you must re-learn this nursery rhyme by force. No, you don't have a choice. :-)
Here is the version most of us are familiar with, courtesy of Wikipedia:
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.
I have tried to imagine what the Nigerian equivalent of broth and bread would be and I don't know. Maybe rice (or eba) without stew, or akamu (pap) without akara. Let me know if you can figure this one out.
So, I came up with 21 questions for this fictional character, although in today's world, I am sure such a woman exists. But I doubt that she lives in a shoe.
If she does and thinks it's perfectly normal, then her problems are so much bigger than having too many kids to care for.
As for whether or not these questions are "intriguing," you decide, ehn.
In no particular order, here are my questions for the old woman who lived in a shoe:
- Who's the daddy? (a.k.a Na who give you belle?)
- Where's the daddy?
- Have you ever heard of birth control?
- Do they all have the same father?
- Are they all your biological children or are some of them adopted?
- How do you remember or keep track of all their names?
- Are you planning on having any more kids?
- How much do you spend on groceries every week? Every day?
- Have you been approached for a reality TV show?
- Is there another one on the way? (*cough, cough* I mean, are there any buns in the oven?)
- *pointing at two random children* These two, are they twins? Any other multiple births?
- How do you tell them apart?
- How will you pay for college/university? Or Trade School?
- Are you familiar with the nursery rhyme? Any regrets?
- *Pointing at the shoe-shaped house* Whose idea was this? Was the architect drunk when he designed this?
- Got any pets? Why not?
- Do you take a headcount of all your kids? How often?
- Do they all speak at once?
- Are you ready to be a grandmother?
- Do they have special talents?
- Do you get any sleep?
Now, I have a question for you: if you could ask the old woman any question(s) what would it be? Feel free to ask away. I'll make sure she answers them. :D