21 Intriguing Questions for the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe
Labels:
Children,
Education,
English Nursery Rhymes,
Everything in Between,
Nigeria,
Nursery Rhymes,
Primary School
Do you remember that nursery rhyme about the old woman who lived in a shoe?
You don't?!
*shaking head in slow motion*
That is totally unacceptable! And yes, I am judging you. We have to rectify (chei, see grammar!) this before Christmas.
Before the month of November ends, you must re-learn this nursery rhyme by force. No, you don't have a choice. :-)
Here is the version most of us are familiar with, courtesy of Wikipedia:
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.
She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;
She gave them some broth without any bread;
Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.
I have tried to imagine what the Nigerian equivalent of broth and bread would be and I don't know. Maybe rice (or eba) without stew, or akamu (pap) without akara. Let me know if you can figure this one out.
So, I came up with 21 questions for this fictional character, although in today's world, I am sure such a woman exists. But I doubt that she lives in a shoe.
If she does and thinks it's perfectly normal, then her problems are so much bigger than having too many kids to care for.
#YabaLeft
As for whether or not these questions are "intriguing," you decide, ehn.
In no particular order, here are my questions for the old woman who lived in a shoe:
- Who's the daddy? (a.k.a Na who give you belle?)
- Where's the daddy?
- Have you ever heard of birth control?
- Do they all have the same father?
- Are they all your biological children or are some of them adopted?
- How do you remember or keep track of all their names?
- Are you planning on having any more kids?
- How much do you spend on groceries every week? Every day?
- Have you been approached for a reality TV show?
- Is there another one on the way? (*cough, cough* I mean, are there any buns in the oven?)
- *pointing at two random children* These two, are they twins? Any other multiple births?
- How do you tell them apart?
- How will you pay for college/university? Or Trade School?
- Are you familiar with the nursery rhyme? Any regrets?
- *Pointing at the shoe-shaped house* Whose idea was this? Was the architect drunk when he designed this?
- Got any pets? Why not?
- Do you take a headcount of all your kids? How often?
- Do they all speak at once?
- Are you ready to be a grandmother?
- Do they have special talents?
- Do you get any sleep?
Now, I have a question for you: if you could ask the old woman any question(s) what would it be? Feel free to ask away. I'll make sure she answers them. :D
*Image Source

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