Women are more spiritual than Men

In primary school, we learnt that Nigerians practiced three different kinds of religion: Christianity, Islam and Traditional Religion/Worship.  But as it turns out, that was just a tip of the iceberg.  My social studies teacher  (because that was indeed the class where this "knowledge" was imparted to me) did not tell me what I later observed in life.  And she (or was it a he?) could not even have explained this to me.  I am referring my personal observations on spirituality, i.e. women are more spiritual than men.

[Image Credit]

I have thought about this in terms of the Church, simply because that is what I am most familiar with.  However, I find that you can observe this in multiple religions.  In the Church, there are hands down more women on any given Sunday who attend and actively participate in church activities.  That includes Sunday services where you see a lot of women in the services with their grown children (or younger children, if they are not in the Children's church) sitting beside them.  Where are their husbands, boyfriends, fiancees, lovers, sugar-daddies, brothers? If we took a survey and asked the women in church, their responses would range from "Papa Junior is resting at home; he was too tired to come to church today (or ever)" to "Papa Junior is  watching Chelsea beat ManU ..." You know, those types of excuses.  It is not only limited to my parents' generation.  I see it happening in my own generation too.  When will this end? Or better still where does this attitude/family structure stem from?

One way to look at it is to look at the relationship between the man and the woman BEFORE they get married.  More times than not, the woman is more spiritual while they are dating, and that trend continues after marriage.  In fact, some men actually target women who they view as more spiritual (which is often equated with being "gullible" and "being-a-pushover").  Why? So that when these men eventually cheat on their wives, their wives will accept it with a passive "God hates divorce" response, and keep praying for their wayward husbands.  Meanwhile, the husband continues his "faaji" with every available "skirt-wearer" and may even "dash" his spiri wife assorted STDs.  How does this make any sense?

Another way to look at it is to look at how two people can change in the course of a marriage.  Both parties might have entered the marriage having zero spirituality.  In fact, that may have been what drew them together in the first place.  But one day, the woman (usually) becomes born-again, for example, and wants to grow in her relationship with God.  The husband is fine with things the way they were "pre-born-again" stage.   And the wife is now praying for God to change her husband's heart.  So, it could be that when you see Mama Junior in church, with Junior and his siblings, but not Papa Junior, this is her story.

I don't believe in just attending Church programs for religious reasons.  If you truly have a relationship with God, it is a natural response that you will want to fellowship with other believers.  However, this might not be feasible depending on your work schedule.  In fact, attending church services (especially mid-week services) will probably be lower on your list of priorities when you throw traffic and a hectic work schedule into the mix.  I can understand this.

What beats me though is what happens outside the Church, which to me, is where it counts.  Women are still the 'prayer warriors' in their homes, still the ones who emphasize spiritual things in any shape or form to their children.  Children are not stupid though.  They look at both parents and pick and choose who they will emulate.  The male children will emulate their spiritually-weak or lax fathers, and the girls tend to follow in the footsteps of their mothers who are spiritual giants.  There are, of course, exceptions to this "rule."  Many of us have come across PKs (Pastors' Kids) who engage in practices that would make full-time sinners blush.

So, this is the result:  Although the man is the physical head of the home, the woman is the (unofficial) spiritual head of the home.  I have also observed that as women get older, they become even more spiritual.  The church going increases, as do visits to the Babalawo or other spiritualist.  In other words, those who are fetish become even more fetish, and in fact have more reasons for their fetishness, i.e. family issues, especially relating to their husbands, children, and the "occasional" mother-in-law from hell.

I will end with this:  It is important for children to see BOTH parents praying and tackling spiritual AND practical life issues together.  Division on the spiritual front has a way of affecting just about everything else in a marriage.

Mehn... I think it's best if one just finds a man that has grown with that 'church' tradition. That just like a monday is naturally the first day of work, a sunday is incomplete without going to church.

If that 'church' tradition is not imbibed in them as 'natural' then as soon as the boy lives his mother's grip, his first thanksgiving will be 'chei! thank God I can finally sleep on sunday mornings'

At first guilty conscience might do them and they might decide to go to evening mass but you see after a while they start terming even that as work. Imbibing that morning church tradition however just makes it natural to both male and female

There are lot of highly unsubstantiated and rather feminist-based generalizations in this post that I would not want to start addressing. However, while I would not say one gender is more spiritual than the other, I'd like to suggest that as children of God, marry someone who is able to sharpen you in faith so that when you're losing it, she/he would strengthen you. I think that is what is most important, really.

Yes o, there needs to be a balance.

My church is one church where the men have always been more than women. We have 60:40 ratio of men:women.

I attend House on the Rock, just in case you were wondering the name of the church.

I agree with you only on a few of the points you‘ve raised here..all the same it‘s a nice write-up.

The part about male children taking after their spiritually weak or lax fathers I might agree with on one side though there are many exceptions. The reason I agree is because I have a 7 year old male cousin who tried to resist going to church with his mum and sister one sunday. When asked why he didn‘t want to go, his reply was “daddys don‘t go to church“...For the records, his father, my uncle sleeps in most sundays instead of going to church.
So I understand where you‘re coming from on that one :). I only pray my cousin doesn‘t end up like that.

Mhn...was all I kept saying because I more than agree with you.This is so true for us especially in Naija because here we see everything from the spiritual standpoint first...Women should be careful who they eventually marry.Spiritual values must be the same,otherwise,you have settled for wahala,like it or yes!

Hmn, this is a tricky one but i 1000% agree with the last paragraph. It nailed it

This kinda reminds me of the debates we used to have back then in primary/secondary school- Teachers are better than Doctors; Mothers are better than Fathers; Women are more spiritual than Men...LOL! On a more serious note, do you have any scientific/survey evidence to backup your conclusions?


"So, this is the result: Although the man is the physical head of the home, the woman is the (unofficial) spiritual head of the home."
You're somehow right with this and i agree with mr LDP and Atilola...there should be a balance and if possible, marry someone stronger than you so that when the times of weakness comes, you'll sail across together
yea...those that are fetish seem to increase that also with age
and its not even the "church" thing that matters anyway cos ive heard stories of where the guy is pretending to be a church goer just to woo the girl
anybody can go to church...but having a passionate and personal relationship with God is the main deal and would save both the couples a heart ache

Nollywood ReInvented: I agree with you. It is better to marry a man or woman who shares the same values with you in terms of spirituality, otherwise one person might be dragging the other along. How does the bible put it again? Yes, don't be "unequally yoked." I think it is possible for two Christians to be unequally yoked judging from the scenario you described.

Samuel Ekundayo (a.k.a LDP): Certainly it makes sense to marry someone who will sharpen you and who you can also sharpen. But people don't always use common sense in making decisions of the heart. Hence, the results outlined above.

Atilola: That's interesting, i.e. the breakdown of the people who attend your church. In my case, it is the opposite, and I would even venture to say it has always been the opposite. Let me even add that the Black Church in America demonstrates this very well, i.e. women outnumbering men.

AY: Thank you for sharing your cousin's example because it illustrates the points I made in the post even more clearly. There are always exceptions to the rule, but generally, boys take after their fathers, and do as they do, not as they say.

Amanda: I couldn't agree with you more. "Settling" is really the issue here, and I don't think a lot of women realize it from the outset. I think they pray the man will change with time, but to me, only God can change a man. It is not wise to marry a person (man or woman) with the intention of changing that person. You might find out that you are the one who actually changes ... for the worse.

Toinlicious: Thank you ma'am! I am glad you got the gist :-)

Dami Okuneye: This post was based on my personal observations. Yes, those primary school debates are unforgettable, shey? On a more serious note though, you can make strong arguments for or against the topic.

Sugarspring: Yes, there needs to be a balance. But to make that argument, it means there is an imbalance that needs to be corrected in the first place, which is what I was addressing here. Hmmm ... those stories of guys pretending to be "holy holy" just to woo the sisters in church are quite common. There is nothing new under the sun, so it pays to shine your eyes well well. And you're absolutely right: a personal relationship with God is the key. He will open your eyes to see people for who they really are, and guide you in making such a life-changing decision. I think that's they key.

Thumbs up for their not being politically incorrect (correct) people bashing this.

I am surprised the atheist trolls aren't having a field day on this.


I have observed this also in house holds where males lay down the more *physical* rules while women are often more spiritual or more tuned into nature unless either party becomes an alcoholic then all bets are off!


I have a question before I go I almost forgot to post. Why is it that on the general discussion of video game forums (where you are aloud to make general post not necessarily related to video games as long as you obey the forum rules) people always make gross threads about sex and beer?

Most threads are usually garbage and offer nothing insightful. Not even old wives tales are posted to make things funny.



I would love to hear your thoughts. Please Share.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...