How Many Boyfriends or Girlfriends is Too Many?



One of my favorite Yoruba movies, which is now classified as a Classic Yoruba movie, is Aya mi Owon (Madam Dearest) by Tade Ogidan (2005), starring Opeyemi Aiyeola, Sola Sobowale (a.k.a Toyin Tomato), Akin Lewis, Yemi Solade and Gabriel Afolayan among others.  This was my first Gabriel Afolayan movie, but that is not the only reason why I remember this movie with fondness.

The movie tells the story of a woman (played by Opeyemi Aiyeola) who wants a child of her own, and the subsequent drama that unfolds.  It's not your typical predictable Naija movie, so if you have never watched a Yoruba movie ever before, I highly recommend this one.  It's worth your time, believe me.

Without ruining the movie for you (in case you haven't watched it), there is a particular scene where Sola Sobowale (who acted the part of Toyin Tomato in that Super Story series "Oh Father, Oh Daughter," the "Suara" story) tells Opeyemi Aiyeola that she had 32 1/2 (thirty-two and a half) boyfriends before she married her first husband.

Now, without worrying our heads about what exactly "half" a boyfriend is, let us assume that she is telling the truth and she dated that many men.

Let us also assume that by "dating" these men, she actually means she was in a committed relationship with each man, though the possibility of that is very low if you watched the movie.  If you assume this, then the question that you need to answer is this: isn't 32 and a half boyfriends too many? Or even 32 and a half girlfriends too?

I would say Yes.  I know a woman might have to kiss many frogs before she meets Prince Charming (not the one in Shrek, please), but 32 and a half ke? Chai! Chai! Chai! At some point, that person should have taken a long break from dating and decide what they really want in a relationship ... or in life, for that matter.

What about you? Do you think dating that many people is over the top or just a necessary path to tread before meeting the right person?  Please share your thoughts o!

P. S. What is "half" a boyfriend? The jury is still out on that one.  We shall find out together.

I think 32 is a lot of people to date, it just sounds like trial and error, while there are so many people of quality that one can meet and befriend, some people look for certain boyfriend or girlfriend qualities and ignore red flags leaving them in a position worse than where they started from.


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Lola

Lol. That is too many.
I believe when our focus is on God, we don't have to date that many to find the right one.

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Funmi

In my opinion, dating too many people produces a lot of mental baggage & too many emotional ties. It's hard not to compare a new love interest to other exes, so imagine 32 or more comparisons?

Fresh Angle

Lola: Yes, that's the term: "trial and error." I particularly love this part: "ignoring red flags." That's what happens frequently. If people paid attention to these red flags, they would never date, talkless of marry certain people.

Funmi: Abi o! Too many for real. Yes, focus on God and apply wisdom. That way, you can date responsibly.

Fresh Angle: Ah, you just brought another "angle" to the discussion ;-)


Mental baggage and emotional ties! That's a serious issue, and one a person has to contend with if he/she has dated so many people. Apart from the endless comparisons, the question of whether that person can remain in a committed relationship, arises too.

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