Anatomy of a Bad Song v. 1 [Featured Artiste: IBK Spaceship Boy]


Whoa! Christmas must have come early for Relentless this year.  The lovely Toinlicious just gave me the "Versatile Blog" award. To say I am ecstatic would be an understatement.  Baba God you too much!  Thank you so much Toinlicious.  I am deeply grateful, and I shall address the award in the next post *bows and curtsies*

Now, to the business of the day.  

Whenever I listen to a song, there are certain elements that just irritate me, to say the least.  Hence, I am starting this “Anatomy Series.” It is an open list of elements that make me want to scream (or itch or pull out my hair, strand by strand … or all of the above) when I see or hear one or more of them in a song.  Since it is an open list, it means I will add more “offending” elements as I discover them.  And this one is “v. 1” for “Version 1” because I decided to do copy-copy and copy the style of those software updates.  If you happen to be a musician / an artiste and have ALL these elements in your song …. I will give you a nice present: 20 strokes of the cane (insert sound of koboko being fired up here).  Seriously though, these are just my own ideas.  Feel free to share yours (or disagree with mine).  So, here we go.


Gross misuse of Auto-tune:  Yes, I know that when you discovered auto-tune you thought you were in heaven, and then you decided to go crazy with it.  BAD MOVE! Auto-tune is a tool, and it is useful when it is used correctly.  But misusing it is the main problem here.  Too many times, I have heard a song that starts out with auto-tune from beginning to end and it is just plain annoying.  Lord help us if the song is dubbed a “remix” of another song.  Father in heaven! That word “remix” is like the singular, most popular excuse to go nuclear with auto-tune.  When it is misused like that, it makes me think the artiste is just vocally lazy or just lazy…period! So, here is a word of advice to artistes who overuse auto-tune on ALL their tracks: REPENT! It makes you come across as just lacking in creativity (or ideas) and can be very distracting.  In fact, it can be so distracting that it could take TEN (10) well-dressed gentlemen to tie me down and keep me from running out of the room (Well, they don’t need to tie me down.  I will just sit there and behave myself ….. if they smile or wave at me *mischievous grin* And just in case you were wondering why they would be TEN … well, no particular reason … let’s just say there will 5 on the left and 5 on the right … Okay, that’s enough mischief for one paragraph). Auto-tune is like a spice to me, meaning that you can use it here and there to add flavor to your song, but when you are heavy-handed with it, it makes the “meal” unpalatable.  Okay, enough with the food metaphors.  P.S. If you don’t know what auto-tune is, Google is your friend (shines teeth). 

At this point, you might be thinking to yourself: Come on Sharrap dia, Relentless, abi na which yeye name you dey call yourself! You wouldn't know a good song if it walked up to you, dressed in a 3-piece suit, shook your hands and breathed (not just "said"): "Hi.  My name is Good Song, but my friends call me "Fave" for short." *crickets chirping*, 2 frogs croak and decide against singing a duet, after taking a long look at my face. But just hang in there and let’s go to offence number 2.

Copying and Pasting a Popular Praise and Worship song:  I call this “copying and pasting” because here is what happens.  Sister Favour and/or Brother Victor (I decided against using Brother “John” and Sister “Mary” … LOL!) lead praise and worship on Sunday mornings in church.  Brother Paul (who did not have the “Damascus experience”, i.e. encounter Jesus on the way to Damascus) comes and decides that he wants to release an album.  He chooses 10 popular praise and worship songs, which Sister Favour and Brother Victor have sung on Sunday (and in fact, sing every Sunday … and Wednesday …. And every other day there is a church activity).  BUT (and this is the big ‘BUT’) Brother Paul does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to change the songs.  He literally sings it the same way Brother Victor and Sister Favour sang it on Sunday, with NO VARIATION at all.  And that is not the worst part.  The worst part is that Brother Paul expects me (and other music lovers) to pay money for his CD.  Now, why would I want to do that? 

You cannot just say that because it is music for worshipping God, and most of the folks in your "supporters club"  are christians anyway, therefore, we should all automatically patronize your song and/or album. If you sing praise and worship songs in your room before God, that’s fine.  It is between you and God.  But if you want me to pay money for your CD, then Brother Paul, you have to present something I have not heard before or at least sing the songs in a different way (different beat, different arrangement … something …..).  In other words, that CD has to add value to my life, one way or the other, and in my opinion, copying and pasting ain’t gonna cut it.  It is even worse when Brother Paul cannot even sing … chei! Bros, you no even try at all (smh). You then add that “God will bless me”  for buying it.  Really, Brother John? Really?! (*beside myself with rage*).  This irritates me to no end. Look, Mediocrity is mediocrity regardless of how you wrap it up.  To all the Brother Pauls out there, please step up your game.

Over-kill with beats at the intro:  Now, this one might be just peculiar to me, but I find it pretty annoying when songs start out with a lot of loud beats (loud as in they sound like school children beating pangolo bournvita).  It does not end there.  This is usually followed by people yelling like agberos trying to out-shout each other.  Guys (addressing artistes), I know you don’t think half of your audience is hard at hearing now.  Chill out! And guess what they are usually saying? "It's XYZ on the beats o" OR "Introducing ABC" *smh* Is this really necessary?  I get that you’re helping out with free ipolowo-oja (advertisements) for whoever “cooked” the beats, and it might not be the same person throughout the album, but I really think you can do without it. Or at least, don’t yell so much! *walks off to drink cold water*


Featured Artiste: IBK

IBK / ReverbNation
Today, I am very pleased and excited to introduce IBK to you (if you have not met him already).  His songs “Tongues” and “I have a dream” are good examples of what GOOD SONGS sound like.  I will be featuring “I have a dream” here today.  Okay, enough already, right?! Here is some brief information on IBK:

Artiste’s Stage Name:  IBK (Spaceship Boy)

Artiste’s Real Name:  Ibukun Kevin Emuwawon

State of Origin:  Ondo State

Record Label:  Independent


Featured Song:  I have a dream

I was not too surprised to find out that he was the winner of Don Jazzy’s Enigma Competition.  So, I am including both the original version of “I have a dream” as well as the remix / entry for the competition.  I love both versions.  I don’t think I can get tired of listening to them.  Enjoy!





ComScore


LOL! You are just a clown! Ahn ahn...Pangolo Bournvita first...now Brother John. I agree with you on those things.
IBK's song is the most played on my MP3. YAY! Have a nice day jare

Mikeylinks

I swear, I too was wondering about the beginnings like. We have IcePrince here and D Prince and Don Jazzy and D'banj and.... gbo gbo ati e.... you know say mo hitz must have all their crew on every song lol. Before they finish introductions song don finish loll jk. Still luv Mohitz though

iLove IBK!!! When he won donjazzy's competition I was so excited! I have the same pet peeves about music! ughhh the auto-tune one kills me!!! 

LohiO

Really? I would have loved to read your own take on the issue.  Scamming is what it is, unfortunately.  The people who patronize them help them pull it off over and over again...

Mwa ha ha ha! Yes now, Pangolo Bournvita.  Or would you have preferred "Milo"? LOL! IBK is definitely one of those to look out for and I am not surprised to see him topping the charts on your MP3 player.  Have a nice day too!

LOL! Yes, they can use introductions alone to finish the whole song.  I strongly suspect that it is just copy-copy and they're not really thinking it through.  It's just a mess ... No be only MoHits dey do am sha. The offenders plenty well well ...Thanks for stopping by o!

Long time, LohiO! I think IBK is really talented.  He should just do quick and release the album already jare.  Auto-tune is definitely one of the most annoying elements to abuse .... Thanks for visiting o!

Hi RB, thanks for visiting my blog! I definitely love IBK and am awaiting his debut album. It's cool to know I'm not alone on the auto-tune 'abuse' thingy. 

By the way, you've got a really lovely blog here. I love your theme and the format of your posts (the idea of featuring an artiste per post).

Will be returning more often now. Thanks! :)

You're welcome, Gbenga.  And thanks for visiting my blog, too.  I am also eagerly awaiting the album release.  I almost want to ask for people to get a special license before they can use auto-tune, but that would be taking it too far ... LOL! I am glad you like the blog, format and all. Please, visit often!

lol@288e14cd2e0779ab332edff86e65ab2b  pangolo bournvita...really funny post, i can certainly relate to those annoying elements in song..nice post!

Jemima

Yes, those elements can be so distracting...it gets ridiculous! I am glad you liked it.  Thanks for stopping by! (and welcome, since it's your first time here)

Wow, thanks so much for the award, i appreciate it..and its not my first time here o, just my first time commenting..i mostly stalk :)

Jemima

You're very welcome, Jemima. I had no idea you "stalked" my blog ... LOL! Either way, you're welcome!

IBK!!!! I knew him before before.....love the song

Uzoma Ikechukwu

Would you look at that? Small world, right? I am glad you loved the song!

I wanted to do a blog on the Brother Johns out there last year, but I did not get around to it. Putting sentiments aside, what they are trying to do is big time scamming

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