Unless your parents are very liberal, chances are they restrict what you can do with your body under their roof. By 'under their roof,' I don't mean the house they built with their own blood and sweat. That's unnecessary, and you would be inviting trouble if you dared to challenge your father especially on why he has not built a house like your friend's father (insert name of friend here).
But this is not about houses, rented or bought. It's about your hair (or lack of it). I had primary school and secondary school students in mind for this post because for the most part, they are still minors living with their parents at this stage. The following list covers a few hairstyles, outside of the typical Gorimapa and Tyson, which are guaranteed to raise your parents' blood pressure. Of course, I hope you'll want to do the opposite.
Recommended Reading: All Ages
1. Dread Locks (a.k.a Dada)
|Dreadlocks | Source|
Dreadlocks are also called 'Irun Dada' in Yoruba. Now I don't know how you'll be growing dreadlocks under your parents roof without their knowledge, but let's assume you're able to pull it off. That is, until one day when Ghen Ghen! Your parents pull off your bandana and see the locks on your head. After asking you if you want to grow up to be a cultist (referring, of course, to the red and black bandana on your head), a few things are likely to happen at this point. But, I will only offer one scenario.
Chances are your parents will tie your arms and legs down as they yell for the driver (if they have one; if not, they'll call one of your siblings) to bring the following items so that 'this boy will not disgrace us.' Chances are that your father is the one ordering the driver about while your mother stands nearby either egging him on or repeating 'Blood of Jesus' while asking him to take it easy.
The following items will appear within a few minutes: razor blade, comb, a pair of scissors, clipper and belt to flog you after the ordeal. More than likely the razor blade and comb will do the job for the clipper, but who knows. Your parents might be considerate in spite of their rapidly rising blood pressure and use a clipper instead.
I am not quite sure whether the driver or your father will barb the hair, but either way you'll be left with zero coverage, i.e. Gorimapa (a.k.a bald head). Which leads us to Number 2.
2. Mohawk dyed Red or Blue
or similar outrageous color
|Mohawk dyed red and blue | Source|
|Mohawk (no dye) | Source|
Even if you're patriotic and decide to dye this Mohawk green and white, it won't redeem you. According to your parents, you resemble a male fowl. This comment will swiftly be followed by another comment on your wasting school fees. Afterwards, you'll end up like your friend in #1: bald and flogged.
3. 'Chook-Chook' hair (a.k.a Micro-coils)
|Chook-Chook Hair | Source|
I am not sure about the the official name for this one, hence the improvised name but the picture should help. I think they are called Micro-coils though. Your parents will probably mention the words 'criminal' and 'bus conductor' in the same sentence with that hair style and as you know that's not a good thing. They will ask you how many doctors or lawyers (Those being the only relevant professions in this life, after all) wear their hair in this manner. Warning: Do NOT ANSWER. That is a trick question. They will finish you if you do. Be a good boy and keep quiet. I hope you took pictures before they found out because that hair style has gotta go. Once you get to the university, you can twist, coil, dye, and do anything you want.
4. Relaxed/Retouched hair
|Relaxed Hair | Source|
You will be asked if you are a woman and might be asked other similar offensive questions. But that's beside the point. Gorimapa straight.
5. Braided / Plaited Hair
|Braided / Plaited Hair | Source|
Abomination! And please don't produce pictures or stories of ancient warriors from your tribe who used to braid their hair. Wrong Answer. Only girls apparently are allowed to braid their hair. The countdown to university begins.
|Classic Afro | Source|
Your parents will raise the disgrace card again citing neighbors wagging tongues as their excuse. Examples of questions that might be thrown at you, include (but are not limited to): 'Do you want people to think you don't have money to barb your hair? And you had better not answer. If you answer, then I wonder where you were when your English teacher was explaining 'Rhetorical Questions' in class.
And that is all. Oh, wait. Just in case you were wondering what a normal or accepted hair style or hair cut for a Nigerian school boy looked like, here are your choices:
|Tyson Hair Cut on both boys | Source|
NOTE: The 'lying-in-the-grass-and-stroking-your-chin' pose is NOT required, especially if there is no single strand of hair under the said chin.
Gorimapa (a.k.a Bald Head)
|Gorimapa (focus on the boy on the right) | Source|
Vegetable oil or pomade to shine head NOT necessary.