"Kneels" is Not a Body Part



Look, I have had enough! Ahn ahn! Ki lo de?! Na by force to speak English ni?  I have quietly listened in horror, hoping against hope that my ears were deceiving me, but it is indeed true:  Too many Nigerians are mis-pronouncing the name of a body part.  It does not help that the said body part has been incorporated into many songs, most notably that children's song: Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes (Knees and Toes).

Now, my gripe is not with that song.  Oh no! It is with the numerous Nigerians who are butchering this innocent body part name.  How, you ask?  I'm glad you asked.  They call it ... (wait for it) ... KNEELS.  *gasp of horror* To be very frank with you, most of the people I have encountered committing this blunder are Yoruba people.  Oh yes! But this is not only a Yoruba problem.  It is a Nigerian problem.

Let me give you examples:

In Church: Brethren, let us get on our KNEELS and ask the Lord for forgiveness.
Me (looking for my kneels):  Huh?  I don't have any kneels o!

In a random song:  I get on my KNEELS.
Me (spoon drops from hand and clatters to the floor, scattering assorted pieces of goat meat and all those strange ingredients that are used to make pepper soup):  This guy must be the 8th wonder of the world.  He has a special body part the rest of us are missing.

In a random Nollywood movie (or Yoruba movie):  Chai! If you see that girl's ashy KNEELS ehn, you go pick race!  I mean ... is Vaseline so hesspensiff  (expensive)?
Me (calls my sister):  My dear, please show me your kneels.  This girl just raised awareness on a major issue!

Now, those are my examples.  Feel free to share yours.  But I am not done o.

In case you are still wavering, let me give you three reasons why you should abandon this terrible habit of mis-pronouncing the word "knees" as "kneels."  Step into the light.  Okay, right after my reasons.  Here they are:


  1. It takes more effort to say "kneels" as opposed to the correct word, i.e. "knees."  Don't believe me? Oya try it.  Just leave that pot of soup on the fire.  Let it burn.  Don't do your homework.  Let the children feed themselves.  And just try this exercise:  Say KNEELS.  Done? Okay, next Say KNEES.  If you still disagree, I am sure you're saying "knees" in your native language.  Repent.
  2. KNEELS is not a body part.  It is a verb.  e.g She kneels, He kneels, We kneels etcetera, etcetera
  3. See Number 2.

In conclusion, Kneels is not a body part.  Knees are parts of the body and every man is born with two.  Kindly refrain from mixing them up or else I might have to bite you.  Believe me, you don't want me to do that *bares teeth*

So, what other irritating mis-pronounced words have you encountered lately?  Abeg share so we can laugh together!


Abeg, leave my people oh (yoruba).....we haff (have) tried oh. Lol.....a lot of words are "murdered" in this country because everyone wants to speak English.

I noticed the "kneels" pronounciation and I keep correcting the little kids especially before they grow up and think its the proper word for knee.

sykikblog

YESSS!!! FINALLY!!! SOMEONE HAS SAID IT.


How about YOUR instead of YOU'RE


Boy: YOUR so funny!
Girl: *Blushes*


THERE instead of THEIR


Teacher: Don't touch that book. It's THERE'S
Student: *Cries and Runs Away*


Let me stop here! Temperature RISING!!!!

LOU

Ah han, wai are we hia and (h)up for discussion ejo nitori Oloun? Yelz, i saild it *pats ipako elede*

I hear you loud and clear though. The list is endless. To think i have the (bad) habit of correcting people's English...even my dad's (covers face) Thankfully, i do this only with family and close friends.
Ask = axe
Mosque = moks
I'm = am
People replace verbs with nouns a lot. 'Seat' down there smh

Toin

LOL...this got me laughing. You dey vex o :)

All I can say is Preach!! The kneels/knee issue gets myeloid boiling. What is it o bare…is it by force?!!?

Inthe...

LMAO!!! Now that is so funny. i havebeen hearing it for so many years but i did not have the courage to correct anyone saying it

Whistling Beautiful

Whistling Beautiful: I have heard it so many times and wanted to scream the correct answer. But I didn't think anyone would appreciate me yelling "It is KNEES not KNEELS" in the middle of a sermon. Thank God for blogs!

In the Midst: *getting back on my soap box* No, it is not by force o!


But perhaps more annoying is the confidence (or maybe arrogance) with which this "offence" is committed.

Myne: Ah, yes o! In fact, I don vex finish :-)

Toin: Why didn't I contact you before putting up this post? You added more of the teeth-gritting-blood-boiling-why-me ones. I used to say 'axe' when I was little until my grandfather asked me why I wanted to injure him. I corrected myself after then.


Lol @ ipako elede. Now going to Google to refresh my memory.

Lou: Yessss! I finally said it! Lol!


I like the context you put your examples in, especially the third one. It just proves that some teachers need to go back to school. They are responsible for these 'ibons' or mis-pronunciations.

Sykikblog: Ah, I cannot liff (leave) your people alone o. They are the main offenders, ke! Lol!


Your point gave me food for thought though: everybody wants to speak English. Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. But these misuses are horrible, especially when they are used in written English. Kudos to you for correcting kids. Let's hope their teachers don't undo it. Now, that would be sad.

Hello relentless it's past 12 am over here and instead of me to be getting my rest against tomorrow, I'm reading your blog which I accidentally stumbled upon while searching for hairstyles. I can't stop laughing at all the issues you've brought up. Serious.... But funny keep up the good work. Well conversation took place in school a loooooonnnggggg time ago
Teacher to student : hey you, went to my table anything you saw there, brought it for me. (jaw dropping to the floor) I was the student. Here is another word mix up : Ask=Hask 😃
Have a good one cheers.

Chimee

Chimee: Bless your heart! LOL! Thanks for taking out of your 'sleep time' to comment.


So, this example you shared, it wasn't 'dem say, dem say' at all? You were actually the one the teacher said this to? *smh* Clearly the bad grammar didn't stick. Praise da Lord!


I'm glad you 'stumbled' on my blog. You're welcome to keep visiting :-)

Hehehe yes o I was the student and, it wasn't dem say at all, at all. You are very funny.

Chimee

Chimee: Lol! Thanks. Since you were the one who it happened to, you won't forget this incident for a long, long time.

ALERT!
ALERT!
ALERT!

NATION - http://thenationonlineng.net/new/photo-aspirant-on-his-kneels-for-votes/

Sisi Blu

Sisi Blu: I checked out the article you shared. He was indeed on his "KNEELS!" Argggghhhh! When will we change our ways?

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