Would You Consent to An Arranged Marriage?

Well, Hello! Sorry, I've been MIA for a bit, but I am back now.  How una dey?  Any special plans for Thanksgiving (it's next week o)?  I plan to stuff my face, watch movies and sleep.  Please tell me you've bought the turkey.  You want to try guinea fowl this year? Ah, you're on your own o!

Ehen, so this topic has been swimming in my head for a while now.  Arranged Marriages.  The name alone has a negative connotation to it, like a person has no choice in the matter.  But let's take a step back and look at it a bit differently.  Just a bit.

Assuming you are not an under-aged minor, i.e. you're above the age of 18, you are considered an adult.  Marriage is not for babies.  Now, as an adult, you get to make adult decisions, including who you want to (hopefully) spend the rest of your life with.

I think that part of the negativity surrounding arranged marriages is that the families or persons doing the match-making or arranging do not consider the personalities or wishes of the man and woman at the center of everything.  But, what if we fixed that?

One thing I have noticed is that as people get older, the number of things they desire in a mate shrinks significantly.  So, the list of qualities a 21-year old would want in a mate would be significantly more than the same list for a 38 year old.  So, my theory is that as people get older and are able to pinpoint exactly what they want, they will be more likely to consider arranged marriages, especially when their wishes/wants are factored into the whole matchmaking process.

What do you think? Would you ever consent to an arranged marriage? Yay or Nay?

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Hmmm...depends on the kind of 'arranged marriage'. If it's the one whereby you don't have a say, and may not even get to spend any time getting to know the person before marriage, then obviously, the answer is nay. Or where perhaps your parents say 'I know the boy's family, his father went to school with me so I think he will make a good husband'. Again, nay. But these days, the way a lot of people meet is by introduction, whether through family members or friends. In this case, you have a say as to whether you want to get to know and possibly marry the person. So yay for that. :) Having said that, I know that some 'traditionally arranged' marriages also work out. Someone once said to me, 'if your family know you very well and love you, they may be the best people to choose for you.' I thought that was an interesting way to look at it...

Renny (Free Truths): First of all, thank you for spelling out your answer in details. The first two scenarios you painted are a big 'No no' for me too because it completely leaves me out of the picture, and I don't like that.

Family member introductions sounds harmless enough, as long as somewhere along the line, it doesn't revert back to any of the first two scenarios you mentioned. They know enough about a person's personality to match them with a potential mate, but whether that relationship works out or not is left to the man and woman.

Like they say, you can take a horse to water, but you can't force it to drink .. or something like that. :D


I would love to hear your thoughts. Please Share.

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